Moonstruck: Bollywood's Gaga Over Karva Chauth

The moon, a sieve, some sindoor, and a husband (or someone close enough). Everyone's gaga over Karva Chauth, Bollywood style.

Aishwarya Rai anticipating Karva 
Chauth, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

The depiction of numerous Karva Chauth scenes in Hindi movies since the mid-1990s has popularised the festival to such an extent that, according to local reports, it's being observed in parts of India which didn't have a history of practicing the tradition. Once mainly common in Punjab, Uttar Pradesh, and much of the Hindi-speaking belt, its spread is being felt in places like Maharashtra, West Bengal, and even the south, promising something for everyone including the cynics (for the latter to ponder: it's now a Hallmark holiday in India known as Husband's Day--I am not kidding I bought a card as evidence).

So, how have Bollywood movies transformed Karva Chauth? (A word of warning to feminists to stop holding their breaths. They do not question traditional assumptions of patriarchy and marriage--but then did you really expect them to?)

1. Fasting all day without so much as a sip of water makes one radiant (and so should you) 

A saas-bahu Karva Chauth moment
Hema Malini & Rani Mukherji, Baabul

Perhaps it's the special glow of the moon, or maybe their skin glistens as they break out in a cold sweat having fasted all day. Whatever it is, the women gather up the stamina to doll themselves up and look gorgeous. The guys on the other hand, tend to stagger in for the pooja either in run-of-the-mill white pyjama suits or their work clothes (Yes Boss, for example). They are, after all, bringing home the bread--we shouldn't expect much. Notable rays of Karva Chauth radiance come to mind in the form of the ever-stunning Aishwarya Rai as she recollects her past in the song, Chand Chhupa Badal Mein (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, 1999), and (even I am shocked at myself as I write this) a rare show of non-sluttiness by Shamita Shetty in the song, Agar Tum Mil Jao (Zeher, 2005), as she serenades Emraan Hashmi (eww) on the auspicious day. Hema Malini and Rani Mukherji as the fasting saas-bahu duo in Baabul (2005) looked perfectly decked out having their last meal at 4 am, a time better suited to fuzzy slippers and crumpled robes than solah sringaar.

2. It's the ultimate form of romance especially if it's on the sly (Nothing says, 'I love you', like hypo-glycemic shock.)

The perfect Karva Chauth ruse
Shah Rukh Khan & Kajol
 Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge

As with all else filmi, Bollywood has succeeded in capturing the cotton candy side of what is considered to be one of the most difficult and pious fasts in the Hindu tradition. To be fair, it is what we watch these movies for. Aditya Chopra's modern classic Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge (1995) (DDLJ) is largely credited with propelling Karva Chauth into the modern-day psyche as the ultimate test of romantic love.  It's probably helped by some rather mushy (which I must admit, I love) scenes between Simran (Kajol) and Raj (Shah Rukh Khan), and the annoyingly catchy tune set to the recurring melody of Ghar Aaja Pardesi. Who can forget the scene when Raj likens Simran to the moon by pointing to her reflection in a mirror, or the late-night rooftop rendez-vous when Simran insists that Raj feed her the first bite of food and give her the first sip of water to break her fast, culminating in her fake-out fainting in front of everyone? Reprising the theme eight years later, Ishq Vishk (2003), also built on the starve-for-your-secret-love theme and included a scene with Payal (Amrita Rao) fasting for her best friend-turned beau, Rajiv (Shahid Kapoor), who sneaks into her bedroom so she can perform the pooja.

3. If he really loves you, he'll fast too. (Aww... now the two of you can rest in adjoining cots strung up to a joint glucose drip.)

Stolen Karva Chauth moments
Shah Rukh Khan & Kajol in DDLJ

We have DDLJ to blame for women everywhere feeling crappy if their husbands/significant others don't at least feign to fast with them on Karva Chauth. I found the surprise fast in DDLJ by Raj ending with a secret Karva Chauth meal on the rooftop utterly endearing. It's become so much the politically correct thing to do in Bollywood, that real life superstar husbands, Askhay Kumar and Abhishek Bachchan, claim to be fasting with their wives, Twinkle Khanna and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, respectively, and compel those who cannot to provide a reason why (see Amitabh Bachchan's tweet T-166).

Amitabh Bachchan & Hema Malini
in a happier Karva Chauth, Baghban

The reciprocal fasting in Baghban (2003) between a senior (yet very unoriginally named) couple, Raj and Pooja Malhotra (played by Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini), on the other hand, made me nauseous. But then again, there was many a nauseating moment in this film. For one, it is unbelievable that even in the modern age, Raj Malhotra's daughter-in-law (or her servants) who is also fasting, would not have arranged to have any cooked meals made for the evening. Equally unbelievable is that his son, daughter-in-law, and grandson would have left him alone at home with no food (knowing that he fasts) while they chow down at some restaurant after the pooja. And of course, the ultimate level of disbelief came when the only thing the two perfectly healthy and active seniors could do was cry into the phone and sing pathetic songs rather than arrange to have met on what was made out to be the most important day in their lives.

4. If you're not married, fast for the guy you want. If you don't get him, treat it as a dry run for the guy you end up with.

Aishwarya Rai & Abhishek Bachchan's
first Karva Chauth
Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke

Even though keeping the Karva Chauth fast if you are unmarried is a strict no-no and wouldn't be condoned in most families, romance prevails. The most common justification for showing unmarried couples or hopeful singletons keeping the fast is that by doing so, you will get the guy... forever. Notable fasting singletons include Kareena Kapoor for Hrithik Roshan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham (2001), ironically, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan's first Karva Chauth for Abhishek Bachchan in Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke (2002), and of course, Kajol for Shah Rukh Khan in DDLJ.

The not-so-happy Karva Chauth
 Ajay Devgun & Aishwarya Rai
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

Of course, where the unmarried Karva Chauth wish is proved wrong, like in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, we can take solace in the fact that the leading lady already had practice pre-empting any embarrassing fainting spells in front of the in-laws... though a smile would not go amiss.

5. There's only one way to celebrate Karva Chauth... the Punjabi way... oh, and there will be dance!

The homogenised depiction of what were and, for the most part still are, extremely varied regional and community-based Karva Chauth practices all go one way (much like everything else in Bollywood). The practices of sargi (a special set of offerings for the bahu by her mother-in-law) which was popularised in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, looking at the moon through a sieve and then capturing your husband's image in it, and the passing of the pooja thali around a circle in a group of women are largely all Punjabi customs.

A family Karva Chauth
Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham

There is nothing wrong with this but some variety (especially, when the lead characters are not Punjabi, as was the Gujarati Nandini in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam) would quell some of that KC déjà vu. Mostly though, rather than succumbing to dizzying headaches, our main characters rejoice in fast-paced twirls and group dances à la Bole Chudiyaan in K3G and Mera Mahi in Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke.

Happiness isn't happiness without a healthy dose of love and starvation.

Neal 'n' Nikki- yuk 'n' yukky

Tanisha Mukerjee and Uday Chopra
Image: yashrajfilms.com

When is Uday Chopra's daddy dearest finally going to have the strength to burst his 'tiger's' bubble and get him off the screen? 

In yet another attempt to launch the struggling wanna-be star, Yash Chopra's production house, Yash Raj Films, produced Neal 'n' Nikki, relying more on Tanisha Mukerjee's ample cleavage than Chopra Jr's limited 'talent' to draw in the crowds. That Baby Chopra would have been pestering big brother Aditya to produce this all-gloss no momentum film is pretty apparent--the poor man had to rip off his own classic, Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, to massage kid brother's delusions of grandeur.

The story is of the typical boy-meets-hates-loves-girl variety.

Neal (Uday Chopra) is set to marry Sweety from Punjab in 21 days and begs his father for his last singleton days to be bachelor heaven in Vancouver. (Sound suspiciously similar to Simran in DDLJ?) This is where he meets Nikki (Tanisha Mukerjee) and you can fill in the blanks.

Half the length of DDLJ, it follows half the story centring on the coming-of-age road trip (substitute British Columbia for Europe), with definitely less than half the oomph. There's even a scene where they parody the famous Simran running-in-the-sarson-fields scene towards Raj.

Lacking originality in plot, this movie sold itself on two main novelties: (1) that it was shot in BC and (2) it dealt with pre-marital sex. But this is where they went wrong.

Neal 'n' Nikki is not the first or only film to be shot in BC: Aap Ko Pehle Bhi Kahin Dekha Hai, Mohabbat, and Shakti (to name a few) have been there and done that.

As for pre-marital sex,we don't have to look further than Yash Raj Films itself to see that not only is it currently Bollywood flavour of the month (Salaam Namaste) it has had a long and intimate history with Indian cinema (Dhool Ka Phool, Deewar, Silsila).

So what exactly does this film offer?

1. An insight into Indo-Canadians? NO.

The first scene opens with Neal, supposedly born and bred in Canada, describing himself (in English) as a typical 'Indian guy who's never been to India' in the thickest Indian accent you have heard. There's nothing wrong with an Indian accent, but how prey tell, does a Canadian dude from small-town Oliver, BC acquire it when he's never even stepped foot in the pind? Ditto for Nikki.

It raises further questions about authenticity when the two real-life Indo-Canadian extras playing Neal's best friends talk to him with the local Canadian accent (as one would expect). We're left wondering if was Neal raised in a vacuum watching only Mumbaiya Hinglish TV.

Question for the director, Arjun Sablok: What was the point of Uday's blue contacts?

2. A timeless and exquisite love story? NO.

The chemistry between Chopra and Mukerjee could put a damper on a puddle. This is hardly surprising since Nikki's only character development rested on how successively short her skirts could get with each passing scene, and how many bras she could pass off as tops.

The particularly yukky moments came during the excruciatingly long slobbering lip-locks. Aside from the handicaps in their actual kissing technique (maybe some coaching and a box of Kleenex would have helped), given the lack of any real emotional bonding between the characters it reeked of a transparent ploy to rake in an audience. God knows, it had next to nothing else.

3. A showcasing of new and budding talent? HELL NO.

The biggest indictment here is that for the first time in any of his films, Chopra was not the most annoying among the cast. That prize had to be given to Mukerjee hands down.

Openly imitating some of big sister Kajol's tactics, Tanisha embodied all of her annoyances with none of the saving graces. Either that or she played the character of Nikita Bakshi a little too convincingly. I lean heavily towards the former.

A little thought to ponder: isn't it interesting that Uday's 'stardom' is limited to in-house productions by Chopras' chamche? It's telling when the owner and star-director of the self-professed 'number 1 production house in India' won't take his own son in any of his centre stage productions.

If he's not good enough for them, I wish they would stop inflicting these all-style-no-substance hacks on the rest of us.